Envy

An ugly thing happened to me today as I stood in line at Justice watching the woman in front of me check out her items. As I watched her fold piece, after piece of clothing- two FULL stacks of beautiful, non-clearance girl's clothing, I found myself becoming envious. I looked down at my handsome ten-year-old in his hand-me-down sweatshirt, worn-out jeans, and broken shoes and wished that I could run into some store and spoil him with a whole new wardrobe. I swallowed down my envy and looked down at my chatty, five-year-old who was beaming up at me in perfect happiness that he had found the perfect pajamas to give his cousin. Rather than celebrating with him that he had helped to chose such a fun gift, I pondered just how many times I say, "No, they aren't on clearance," to him when we pass the superhero pajamas at Target. Unfortunately, I carried that feeling of envy home with me -ugly and ungrateful. I entered my home, was greeted by my overly-enthusiastic dogs and the hustle and bustle of watching and helping my kids wrap their gifts, and was reminded that I have so much. Maybe we don't have brand new clothes most of the time, and maybe we don't have all of the latest gadgets, but we have so much more. I treasure the time I am able to spend with my children, the hours spent reading and snuggling together. I treasure my husband who still lights up when he comes home from work (even when he can probably smell the baby spit on my shoulder when he kisses me.) I'm thankful for my warm home on a rainy day, the phone calls from family with just the right words of love and encouragement when I need them. God has blessed us in more ways than I can begin to list, or than anyone else would possibly care to read. Suddenly, a couple of piles of new clothes doesn't seem so important.